The 2012 Extreme Rules Pre-Show kicks off with Todd Grisham at the broadcast table, hyping up tonight's card. Grisham welcomes a guest commentator, making his return to WWE tonight and THE COACH comes down the aisle to a respectable pop. The bell rings and we go to Bob Artese in the ring with the call.
Gauntlet Match: Ryback versus Elijah Burke, Jack Swagger and Big Show (winning fall earns final spot in the Singapore Cane Match for the ECW Title)
Ryback's music hits first and The War Machine marches out, looking determined to secure a spot in the ECW Championship Match. Elijah Burke comes out next, looking a little wary of his opponent, but equally determined. The bell rings and here we go.
Burke stares down his hulking opponent from across the ring, then steps up to throw his 4-Up Combination before plastering Ryback with a high impact uppercut, but the beast is remarkably unfazed. Burke tries a rebound attack, but Ryback answers back with a DEVASTATING clothesline that knocks The Pope out of his high-tops.
Ryback follows up with a Gorilla Press Slam, dropping Elijah from up top down to the canvas. As Burke struggles to get back to his feet, Ryback screams “FINISH HIM” and destroys his opponent with Shell Shocked to pick up a decisive victory. Ryback awaits his next opponent and Jack Swagger hits the stage. Swagger says he’s been summoned for a bigger purpose in tonight’s PPV and will not be competing against this monster. Swagger says he let another eager superstar take his place in the match and out comes MUHAMMAD HASSAN.
Hassan hits the ring and begins trading blows with Ryback before coming from out of nowhere and stunning the unstoppable force with an Inverted STO for two. Hassan tries to keep his much larger opponent down with a series of Elbow Drops to the sternum, but on Elbow Drop #5, Ryback traps Hassan’s arm, gets back to his feet and whips the Extremist violently to the buckle before following him in and crushing him with a Body Avalanche. Hassan collapses to the canvas and Ryback hits a Running Splash. Ryback picks up the victimized Hassan and drills him with a Big Boot and an Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex. After Hassan gets implanted with a Spinebuster, the fans are egging Ryback into continuing the beating. Ryback wraps up the severe beatdown with a nasty powerbomb and a Silverback Attack for the merciful three count.
As Ryback awaits the Big Show, JACK SWAGGER leaps back through the crowd and wallops the HELL out of Ryback in the face with a steel chair. Swagger locks in the Ankle Lock, wrenching with as much torque as possible. Elijah Burke and Muhammad Hassan finally regain their senses and Hassan locks in a simultaneous Camel Clutch with the Ankle Lock still dialed in. Burke takes advantage by first embarrassing Ryback with a Pimp Slap and then dropping him from the submission holds with a Popebreaker. The trio exits the ring up the ramp, leaving Ryback as we’ve never seen him before. Unconscious and helpless. The Big Show’s music hits and the end appears to be near.
Show picks Ryback up off the mat and buries him with a Sidewalk Slam, but Ryback incredibly kicks out at two. Show throws Ryback to the buckle and hits two very large chops, but Ryback psyches up and strikes back with a forceful clothesline that takes Big Show off his feet, but not for long. Growing impatient, Show comes back with a Show Stopper and primes up for WMD. Ryback returns to his feet and Show connects, but even with the force of the blow, Ryback is only staggered to one knee. Incensed, Show connects with a SECOND WMD and goes for the cover, but SOMEHOW Ryback kicks out at 2 1/2, and Show is stunned into utter disbelief.
A snarling Big Show grabs Ryback by his shoulder straps and pulls him back to his feet. Show grips Ryback by the jaw to ensure that he sees the next blow coming and CLOBBERS the Cyborg with a CATACLYSMIC THIRD WMD, squarely between the eyes. Big Show crawls to the cover and gets the emphatic three count. The undefeated streak is finally over and THE BIG SHOW will advance to Extreme Rules to challenge for the ECW Championship in the Singapore Cane Match.
Winner and final entrant in the ECW Championship Match: Big Show
Grisham and Coach talk about tonight’s card. We go backstage with Jim Cornette, Stephanie McMahon, Paul Heyman and Theodore Long with their respective representatives in the Women’s Championship match later on tonight; Kharma, Lita and Natalya. Stephanie explains that the four of them came to a consensus on the stipulation and the three of them will be participating in a Lumberjill Strap Match tonight, featuring every other WWE Diva on the roster. The participants make their exit, with a banged-up Heyman and Long following shortly after.
Cornette and McMahon stay behind and Jim makes a proposition to raise the stakes. Cornette tells Steph that as it concerns the WWE roster, ECW and Smackdown superstars could be RAW superstars somewhere down the line, and thus EVERYONE has a personal stake in the outcome of their Elimination Tag Match tonight. Cornette suggests adding two members to each of their teams tonight; one from ECW, one from Smackdown, and making it a 7-on-7 match. Stephanie wastes little time in accepting the challenge and it looks like we’re in for a HUGE main event tonight.
Tag Team Turmoil Match for the WWE Tag Team Championships: Beer Money, Inc. versus Dudley Boyz versus MCMG versus Kings of Wrestling versus American Wolves versus New Age Outlaws versus The Colons versus LAX versus Hart Dynasty
We go back to the ring and six of the teams have already joined us at ringside, waiting for their number to come up. The Dudley Boyz enter next and will be the final team to wait at ringside before we get our opening contest. The Colons hit the ring, and we find out that all three will be eligible to compete in this match under the freebird rule. Shots ring throughout the arena as MCMG buzzes to the ring and the bell rings to let the marathon begin.
The first match is being contested under Tornado Rules, which allows all participants in the ring at the same time. Shelley and Sabin begin trading blows with Epico and Primo, until Carlito chimes in and begins double-teaming Sabin with Primo. Epico connects with a Gory Special, but only gets two when Sabin interrupts the fall. Shelley counters out of a Butterfly Suplex and whips Epico to the buckle, where he ends up tied to the Tree of Woe. Shelley connects with a Diving Double Stomp and drops Primo with It Came From Japan II.
Shelley gets on a roll, crushing Carlito with Sliced Bread #2 and stunning Epico and Primo with their respective Facebuster and Backstabber. Carlito answers back with a snap neckbreaker on Shelley before dropping Sabin with a Backstabber. Epico connects with a Codebreaker on Shelley, who then staggers into a Backstabber before Carlito executes a picture perfect Phoenix Splash, but Sabin makes the save before the three count can be collected. Sabin fights back with a flurry of offensive strikes before driving Epico from the ring with Over Easy and stunning Primo with Cradle Shock. With Carlito all to themselves, MCMG set up the eldest Colon for ASCS Rush and an Air Raid to collect the three count.
The Colons are eliminated.
Homicide and Hernandez slide into the ring and the next match is under way. At this point, the ref signals for normal tag rules to be implemented.
Alex Shelley and Hernandez start. Hernandez attempts an Gutwrench Backbreaker, but Shelley drops out from behind an attempts a Backpack Stunner, but Hernandez shifts his weight and fights out, answering back with a Delayed Vertical Suplex. Hernandez tags out to Homicide and he runs across the ring to knock Sabin off the apron. Homicide plants Shelley with Bronx Bomber 27, but only gets two. Homicide attempts a Pumphandle Suplex, but Shelley drops behind again and makes a quick tag to Sabin. Sabin came in thundering with an Enziguri, a Tilt-a-Whirl Headscissor and a Hesitation Dropkick. Sabin tries for Cradle Shock, but Homicide drops out and answers with a Big Boot for two.
Homicide tries for a West Brooklyn Lariat, but Sabin dodges, sending Homicide to the outside, then destroying Homicide with a Leap of Faith to the arena floor. Shelley follows with a Diving Superkick and as all team members try to help the trio to their feet, Hernandez hits a Big Man Dive that takes EVERYONE off their feet. The foursome rolls back into the ring, where Sabin makes the hot tag to Shelley and Alex takes both Homicide and Hernandez down with knife-edge chops. Homicide tries an Exploder Suplex, but Shelley lands on his feet and shoves him to Sabin’s corner. Sabin sets up for a top rope Powerbomb and Shelley sneaks up from behind for Made In Detroit for the three count.
LAX has been eliminated.
In next are the Outlaws and another flurry of exchanged blows takes place before each team makes it back to their corners.
Gunn cinches in a headlock on Shelley and sets up for a swinging neckbreaker, but Shelley counters out yet again and comes up with a Border City Stretch. Gunn struggles to the bottom rope and Shelley follows up with a Golden City Swing for two. Gunn desperately crawls to the tag and in comes the Road Dogg. The Outlaws double up Shelley and hit a flapjack hangman before The Dogg connects with Shake, Rattle and Roll for two.
Dogg hits a Crazy Legs Knee Drop and picks up two again. Frustrated, Dogg tries for a piledriver, but Shelley fights out and hits a hurricanrana into a Skull Fuck, which only serves to further infuriate Road Dogg. Dogg tags Gunn in and Gunn tries for another piledriver, but Shelley goes up and over and plants him with a piledriver of his own. Shelley heads to the top and hits a Frog Splash, but Road Dogg interrupts the count.
Gunn sets up for a Front Powerslam, but Shelley slides out and hits Sliced Bread #2 before making the tag to Sabin. Sabin jumps in and hits a Springboard Tornado DDT before attempting a Bum Rush but Gunn evaded it with a high knee lift. Billy attempts a Gunn-Slinger, but Sabin has an answer, transitioning into a beautiful Asai DDT. Sabin tags back to Shelley. Gunn tries the Fame-Asser, but Shelley dodges and answers with an inverted atomic drop, Sabin hits a drop toe hold, Shelley leads in with an Inverted STF and Sabin polishes Gunn off with a Baseball Slide to the face. Shelley makes the cover and gets the three.
New Age Outlaws have been eliminated.
In comes The Kings. Hero comes charging in with a Cyclone Kill that knocks Shelley senseless. Hero makes the quick cover and Shelley finally succumbs.
MCMG is eliminated.
A slugfest is ensured as THE DUDLEY BOYZ are up next.
Bubba and Hero go at it for several minutes before Bubba gets the upper hand with a Sidewalk Slam for two. Bubba tries for a Release Powerbomb, but Hero counters with a Back Body Drop and comes back with a Hero Sandwich for another two. Hero starts throwing forearms and sets up for a Tope Con Hero, but Bubba rolls away and tags to D’Von. D’Von comes back with an Aided Superbomb for two. D’Von stuns Hero with a Corkscrew Back Elbow and Hero tags frantically to Claudio. Claudio rushes in and meets a charging D’Von with Swiss Death. Claudio drops D’Von with a Ricola Bomb and picks up the one, two, three.
The Dudley Boyz have been eliminated.
Not willing to take the loss lying down, Bubba rouses D’Von while the Kings celebrate and drill Hero with a 3D before leaving the ringside area. Here comes THE HART DYNASTY.
Tyson Kidd starts against Claudio and dazzles with a Arabian Press Arm Drag and a Jumping Back Kick before attempting a Rolling Fireman’s Carry to no avail. Claudio powers out and clubs Kidd in the back of the head with a Swiss Uppercut. Claudio attempts a Money Dive, but Tyson rolls away, sending Claudio crashing to the mat. Kidd tags to Smith and David begins trading blows with Castagnoli. DH locks in the Bulldog Bite, but Claudio counters out and sets up a Giant Swing. DH Smith counters back with a Hart Attack attempt, but before Tyson can connect, Claudio fights out and takes both men down with a double lariat. Claudio primes up for a Giant Swing again, with Hero making the blind tag in the process, before crushing Tyson Kidd’s skull with a Helicopter Crash. Hero makes the cover and gets the duke.
The Hart Dynasty has been eliminated.
Out come THE WOLVES.
An all-out WAR between the Kings and the Wolves breaks out, spilling to the ringside area on the outside. Eddie Edwards and Chris Hero brawl into the stands as Claudio and Davey Richards fight it out in the ring. After several minutes of uncontrollable chaos, Eddie and Hero brawl back to ringside and Edwards scales the top turnbuckle to drop Hero on the outside with the Boston Knee Party before rolling back to the ring apron. Claudio sets up for a Ricola Bomb, but Richards rolls out and drops him with an Alarm Clock. Richards locks in a Sharpshooter, and Edwards makes a blind tag and rolls into the ring with a Springboard Moonsault atop the Sharpshooter to nail Claudio to the mat. Edwards makes the cover and gets the three.
Kings of Wrestling have been eliminated.
In comes BEER MONEY for the final showdown and ALL HELL breaks loose again.
Another brawl breaks out at ringside, culminating in a DWI on the arena floor to Edwards. Realizing he’s now alone, Richards boldly battles with both Roode and Storm. Roode attempts a Roode Awakening, but Richards counters into a gorgeous Float Over DDT. Roode tags to Storm and James charges for a spear, but Richards connects with a desperation Shoot Kick directly to the face. Richards makes a cover but only gets two. Roode and Storm double up Davey for DWI, but Richards hits a hurricanrana to send Roode crashing back to the outside. Storm tries Last Call, but Davey rebounds with a DR Driver and picks up a surprise three count. Davey Richards has single-handedly won the WWE Tag Team Titles.
Winners and NEW WWE Tag Team Champions: American Wolves
Davey exhaustedly celebrates in the ring and tries to revive Eddie Edwards, but Jim Cornette hits the ramp screaming that the match isn’t over. Cornette informs Davey Richards that there’s ONE late entry that wants a shot and he gave it to them last minute. Out comes JOE HENNIG and TED DIBIASE. DiBiase dubs themselves The Fortunate Sons and says they’re coming to take the titles. Davey can’t revive Eddie, so it looks like another handicap match.
Davey bravely battles both off with a flurry of shoot kicks and roundhouse kicks, but one of the roundhouses is blocked and Hennig sets up Richards for what looks like DWI but ends up looking more like Thunder Express, drilling Richards face into the canvas. DiBiase makes the cover, gets the three and we have NEW WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.
Winners and NEW WWE Tag Team Champions: The Fortunate Sons
After the match, DiBiase and Hennig celebrate heading up the ramp, while Richards and Edwards both lie motionless in the ring. Officials tend to the exhausted team members. Grisham and Coach express shock about what they just witnessed and do another rundown of tonight’s card.
The 2012 Extreme Rules PPV opens with a look at the “Company Reboot” that saw every title vacated, a NEW roster, a NEW Chairman, and NEW GMs. The package wraps by saying tonight WWE goes to EXTREMES to carve out a NEW FUTURE, a NEW PATH and NEW CHAMPIONS. Jim Ross welcomes us on behalf of King, Striker, Matthews, Joey and Tazz to a sold out Allstate Arena in Chicago, Illinois as the pyro goes off.
Stairway To Hell Match: Tommy Dreamer versus The Sandman
We go to the ring and Bob Artese has the call. A barbed wire kendo stick is hanging above the ring. First one to reach it gets to use it. The only way to win is by pinfall or submission. Enter Sandman BLASTS through the speakers as The Sandman makes his way through the crowd bashing beer cans on his face at every turn and wearing the same bloodstained “BLOOD SWEAT AND BEERS“ shirt he wore to the first ever Stairway To Hell Match. Tommy Dreamer is out next as both men hit the ring and we get the bell.
Match starts in brutal fashion. Bodies and weapons flying everywhere. Dreamer and Sandman beat the hell out of each other with everything that isn't nailed down. Sandman grabs a chair and opens up a nasty gash on Dreamer's head with a chair shot squarely between the eyes. Dreamer answers back with a garbage can off Sandman's head drawing out more blood. Tommy takes a barbed wire wrapped steel chair and connects with an Extreme Tree of Woe. Dreamer takes another swing with the garbage can, but Sandman trips him up, sending him face first into the can down to the canvas. Sandman sets up the ladder and begins the ascent.
Sandman nearly reaches the Kendo Stick when Dreamer cuts him off at the top and sends him crashing to the mat with a Dreamer Driver through two steel chairs set up in the middle of the ring. Dreamer hits an Inverted DDT on the ring apron and heads up the ladder. Sandman regains his senses and knocks Dreamer off the ladder and hits a Rolling Rock from the top rope onto the ladder over top of Dreamer.
With both men down, Beulah McGillicutty heads to the ring and cheers on Tommy Dreamer. Tommy gets back to his feet and begins climbing again. Sandman regains consciousness and grabs Beulah by the back of the head and drags her into the ring. Sandman snags another Cane from under the ring and threatens to wear Beulah out with it unless Dreamer climbs down from the ladder. Dreamer obliges and steps in front of Beulah to defend her and promptly takes a BRUTAL cane shot to the temple. Sandman climbs the ladder and Beulah watches in horror as Sandman hits a Bitchin' Leg Drop from the top of the ladder and gets a two count.
Sandman climbs the ladder again, and this time grabs the Barbed Wire Cane. Beulah begs Sandman not to follow through, but he threatens to take a swipe at her and she backs off. Sandman begins to play each side of Dreamer’s head like a drum kit, one with a regular cane, the other with the barbed wire cane before switching off and continuing. Dreamer is a bloody mess at this point. Sandman goes for one final death blow between the eyes with the Barbed Wire but Beulah takes Sandman between the legs with the ladder, sending him crumpling to the mat.
Dreamer regains his wits, sets up the ladder and drags Sandman to the top by the back of his shirt. Beulah sets up a table in the middle of the ring, douses it in lighter fluid and sets it ablaze. Dreamer screams at the top of his lungs “E C F@#%ING W” and plummets through the flaming table with a TommyHawk. Dreamer struggles back to his feet and buries the barbed wire cane squarely between Sandman’s eyes, the cane sticking to his head. Dreamer crawls to the cover and gets the three count.
Winner: Tommy Dreamer
After the match, Dreamer is helped back to his feet by Beulah. The two embrace in the center of the ring while a profusely bleeding Dreamer raises the Singapore Cane high above his head.
We get a vignette from Damien Sandow, expressing his displeasure with being left out of the WWE Championship picture, but simultaneously espousing his disdain for the concept of "Extreme Rules", saying that this "pedestrian form of 'garbage wrestling' is suitable only for philistines, plebeians and Neanderthals." Sandow tells the "...scant enlightened and the uncouth, uneducated masses alike that he will soon ascend to the highest echelon of this company and save their intellectual souls once there." Sandow punctuates with "You're Welcome".
We get a nice video package hyping the Six-Pack Challenge for the Intercontinental Championship.
We go backstage with Jeremy Borash and Drew McIntyre. Borash asks McIntyre about strategy going into a match like this and McIntyre tells him that there is no strategy but to leave as champion. Drew tells JB that he is sick-to-death tired of being ignored vows to make EVERYONE take notice tonight when he leaves with the Intercontinental title around his waist.
Six-Pack Challenge Elimination Match for the Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio versus Christian versus Kofi Kingston versus Rob Van Dam versus R-Truth versus Drew McIntyre
We go to the ring and out first comes Drew McIntyre, out to make a statement. Out next comes Rob Van Dam to a HUGE pop. Christian is out next to a decent reaction. Kofi Kingston comes out next to a slightly mixed, but mostly positive reaction. R-Truth enters next to a nice pop. And finally Rey Mysterio enters and the Chicago crowd ERUPTS. We get formal ring introductions and the bell rings to get us started.
The match immediately disintegrates into a blizzard of chaos, bodies and limbs flying everywhere as all six men are brawling. Finally, it comes down to only Kofi and Mysterio in the ring. The duo puts on an excellent back and forth, Kofi connects with a dropkick, Rey comes right back with a hurricanrana. Kofi comes back with a Monkey Flip, but Rey lands on his feet. Kofi hits a Sunset Flip, but Rey rolls through and tries to throw a roundhouse kick, but Kofi ducks and comes back with a roll-up for two. Rey returns quickly to his feet and we have a standoff that gets a round of applause from the crowd.
Kofi whips Rey to the corner, but Rey counters, sending Kofi to the corner. Rey charges and takes a Pendulum Kick to the face. As Rey staggers Kofi hits a Russian Leg Sweep and the Boom Drop. Kofi sets up for Trouble In Paradise, but RVD rolls back into the ring, captures Kofi's Leg and hits a Step-Over Spinning Wheel Kick that sends Kingston careening to the middle rope. Rey returns to his feet and hits a 619, following up with Droppin' The Dime. Mysterio makes the cover and picks up the three count and we're down to five.
Kofi Kingston has been eliminated.
Kofi gets back to his feet and looks stunned before leaving the ring and heading toward the back, shaking his head and trying to process what just happened. Action spills back into the ring and Drew McIntyre soon finds himself surrounded.
Christian slaps McIntyre across the face, Van Dam throws a roundhouse kick, and Mysterio hits the 619 before R-Truth hits Lil’ Jimmy and McIntyre rolls to the outside. Mysterio low bridges a charging Christian and RVD tosses Truth to the outside, giving us a brief tease of a Mysterio/RVD battle, but McIntyre jumps back in to disrupt the staredown.
McIntyre tries to direct traffic, instructing Truth and Christian to turn their aggressions on Rey and RVD, but they aren’t listening. Truth and Christian level McIntyre with a Double Flapjack, sending him crashing to the outside of the ring again. McIntyre returns to his feet and pounds the ring apron in frustration. Once again, we’re left with Mysterio and RVD alone in the ring.
Mysterio attempts a 619, but RVD dodges and comes back with a Spinning Crescent Kick. Van Dam attempts Rolling Thunder, but Mysterio counters with a Wheelbarrow Bodyscissor into a Victory Roll for two. Rey tries for a Bronco Buster, but Van Dam moves sending Mysterio crashing into the buckle. RVD goes up for the Five-Star Frog Splash, but Rey moves out of the way, sending Rob crashing to the canvas. Rey and Christian try to suplex RVD outside to the floor, but R-Truth intervenes and tosses both of them out of the ring. McIntyre turns his attention to Van Dam, drilling him with a Fireman’s Carry Flapjack. Determined to make an impact tonight, McIntyre retreats to the outside to brawl with Christian, Truth and Mysterio. McIntyre whips Mysterio to the barricade, sending him bowling into the timekeeper’s table before returning to Van Dam in the ring.
McIntyre punishes RVD with a Snap Suplex. McIntyre tries for a Big Boot, but RVD ducks again and rebounds with a flurry of kicks, chops and elbows before going low with a feign Crescent Kick into Leg Sweep. Embarrassed, McIntyre tackles RVD and begins wailing away with rights and lefts. McIntyre preps for Future Shock, but RVD counters out. McIntyre tries to set up for a Scot Drop and Van Dam throws elbows to counter out of that as well. RVD backs McIntyre into the corner and begins working him over with Shoulder Thrusts. Van Dam backs up with the standing backflip, directly into the path of Christian, who sets up for the Killswitch. RVD counters again, shoving Christian to the corner and Christian recovers nicely by hitting the Spear on McIntyre as he’s coming out of the corner.
Christian goes for the cover of McIntyre, but Truth breaks it up for whatever reason, perhaps Little Jimmy told him to. McIntyre and Christian form an unlikely tandem to beat down Truth outside the ring, tossing him to the barricade. McIntyre goes back to Mysterio, tosses him back into the ring and begins stomping every available limb. Drew makes a cover but only gets two. Christian joins the effort as McIntyre continues working over Mysterio before rolling to the outside and kicking him in the head. McIntyre tries again but still only gets a nearfall. Drew is getting visibly frustrated at this point.
Christian and McIntyre whip Mysterio to the buckle and McIntyre whips Christian at Rey but Mysterio comes back out with a drop toe hold that sends Christian headfirst into the middle buckle. Rey charges out with a Headscissor Takedown, but Drew is able to counter into a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker. Truth tries to get back into the match, but McIntyre sends him crashing back to the barricade with a Big Boot off the apron. Christian and McIntyre turn their aggressions on each other. Christian attempts the Killswitch again, but McIntyre counters into an Inverted Alabama Slam.
McIntyre sets Christian up for Future Shock, but Christian rolls out and hits a Spear. Van Dam perches on top for a Five-Star Frog Splash on Mysterio, but Rey shows amazing reflexes, leaping to the top to attempt a Hurricanrana, but RVD blocks. Mysterio lands on his feet and walks into another spear from Christian. While Christian tries to regain his wits from the Spear, Van Dam hits a Five-Star Frog Splash on both men and covers Christian for the three count.
Christian has been eliminated.
R-Truth jumps RVD from behind and lays into him with a series of massive right hands. Truth tries for Lil’ Jimmy, but Rob grabs the top rope for leverage, sending Truth crashing head first to the mat. RVD goes for Rolling Thunder, but Truth gets the knees up to block. Truth goes for the cover but only gets 2 1/2. Truth briefly turns his aggressions to McIntyre and Mysterio before refocusing on RVD. Van Dam answers back with a Diving Superkick and a Lifting Double Underhook Facebuster. Rob goes up for a Five-Star, but McIntyre knocks him off balance. Drew tries for a Superplex, but RVD shoves him back to the floor. Van Dam then connects with a 450 Splash. WOW. RVD makes the cover, but McIntyre gets his foot on the bottom rope.
Van Dam argues the call with the referee and R-Truth comes from out of nowhere with a Lie Detector. Truth frantically makes the cover and gets the three count. The Chicago crowd RAINS down boos at RVD’s demise.
Rob Van Dam has been eliminated.
We’re down to three as R-Truth, Drew McIntyre and Rey Mysterio all pull themselves to their feet and stare each other down from their respective corners. Rob Van Dam comes back in, swinging wildly with a steel chair, taking out McIntyre and R-Truth in the process. RVD hits a Van Daminator on Truth and as the referee tries desperately tries to regain control of this match, connects with a coast-to-coast Van Terminator to leave R-Truth in a very bad way. Truth crawls to the middle rope and Mysterio connects with another 619. Rey goes to the top turnbuckle and connects with a Diving Headbutt before picking up the three.
R-Truth has been eliminated.
Mysterio returns to his feet and walks directly into Future Shock, but McIntyre can only pick up a two count and the ill-tempered Scotsman is in pure disbelief. A sinister smile spreads across McIntyre’s face as he taps into his Indy days and tries to put Mysterio away with Thee Move, only to have Mysterio counter with a headscissor takedown and a 619. Mysterio springboards from the top rope and stuns McIntyre with a West Coast Pop for the cover and the three.
Winner and NEW WWE Intercontinental Champion: Rey Mysterio
After the match, Rey Mysterio celebrates with the Intercontinental Title in the ring. We go to replays. Mysterio plays to the crowd as we get even more replays. Out of nowhere, KOFI KINGSTON sneaks up behind Mysterio and LEVELS him with Trouble In Paradise. The crowd boos Kingston as Kofi stands over the fallen champion, stone-faced. Kofi removes the ties from his dreadlocks, shaking his head at Mysterio before leaving the ring in disgust to a cascade of boos.
We go backstage with Jeremy Borash and Edge. JB asks about strategy going into the Elimination Chamber. Edge tells Borash that the Chamber isn’t something you plan for, just as he didn’t plan on retiring after Wrestlemania 27, just as he didn’t PLAN on returning to such a massive reception at the Royal Rumble and just as he didn’t plan on tearing the house down, going one-on-one with his best friend Christian on the Grandest Stage of them All last month. Edge tells JB that the one thing he can PLAN on seeing tonight is Edge busting his ass to try and become the new WWE Champion.
Singapore Cane Match for the ECW Championship: Kane versus Big Show versus Sabu versus John Morrison
We go to the ring and the entrance ramp is engulfed in a towering inferno as Kane makes his entrance. Big Show is out next after qualifying earlier, followed by Sabu to a HUGE pop from the ECW-friendly confines of Chicago. The ECW Champion John Morrison is out next. Each man comes out armed with a Singapore Cane.
Bob Artese does formal ring introductions and here we go. The match starts out looking more like the Home Run Derby than a wrestling match as all four men get in a handful of licks with their cane. Kane and Morrison exchange cane strikes as Sabu works over Show before rolling to the ringside area and breaking the pattern by throwing a chair at Big Show’s face. It comes down to a staredown between Sabu and Morrison, but ultimately Kane and Show return to the fray whipping them to opposite corners. Action spills to the floor as Sabu continues against Show and Kane begins working over the champion.
Morrison uses some brilliant Parkour strategy, rebounding from the ring apron, to the barricade and back at Kane with a Flying Chuck. Sabu clips Big Show at the knees with the cane, sending him crashing headfirst into the ringpost. Sabu rolls into the ring and we get another standoff between Morrison and Sabu. They lock up in the center of the ring and Morrison comes from out of nowhere with a Pele Kick and a Running Knee Strike for two. Morrison continues with a Capoeira Leg Drop for another two count. Big Show drags the champion under the bottom rope to the floor and slams the back of his head into the barricade. Kane begins beating down Sabu in the ring. Big Show climbs into the ring and begins to double team ECW’s resident maniac.
Kane slides a table into the ring and Big Show sets it up. Kane picks Sabu up off the mat and the double team continues with a Double Chokeslam through the table. The colossal connection turns their attention to Morrison. They focus on Morrison’s head and drag him to the Spanish Announce Table, removing monitors and coverings along the way. Kane and The Big Show then hit another Double Chokeslam, sending the ECW Champion through the announcer’s desk. They return to the ring, but Sabu has picked himself from the splinters and regained control of the Singapore Cane, driving it into Kane’s ribs and walloping Big Show upside the temple. Sabu connects with a Guillotine Leg Drop to Kane. Sabu goes for a somersault plancha to Show on the outside, but Show catches him and throws him back first into the ringpost. Big Show rolls Sabu into the ring for the cover and Kane kicks Show in the head to break up the count at two. Kane and Show now have a standoff and begin swinging the canes again. Kane backs Show into the corner and nails a corner clothesline with the cane. Sabu comes back with a Super Frankensteiner, sending Kane rolling to the floor. Big Show comes back out of the corner and drops Sabu with a Show Stopper for two.
Morrison tries to springboard back into the ring, but Big Show catches him with WMD in mid-leap, sending him crashing back to the ring apron and down to the floor. Big Show turns his attention back to Sabu and grabs the cane again. Sabu rolls out of the way and comes back with the steel chair again. Sabu goes for an Arabian Press, but Kane runs over and knocks Sabu from the top rope to the floor. Kane picks up the cane and begins working over Show, but Morrison returns with a pipe wrench and clobbers both. With Show and Kane lying in a heap, Morrison climbs to the top and hits Starship Pain on both. The champion covers Kane and gets two. Morrison drags Kane to the corner and starts battering him about the knees, ribs and head with the kendo stick. Morrison goes for a Moonsault Side Slam, but Kane counters into a chokeslam and gets two. Kane hits a running dropkick and develops a sinister plot. Kane rolls to the outside, reaches under the ring and produces a can of lighter fluid, dousing the cane and setting it ablaze.
Kane returns to the ring, but Morrison goes low and trips the Big Red Monster, making him fall face first onto the flaming cane. As Kane writhes in pain on the canvas, Morrison grabs the burning Kendo Stick and plasters away at the back. Morrison hits Starship Pain again, but Kane barely kicks out. Morrison tries for Moonlight Drive, but Kane rolls out and hits another chokeslam for two and a half. Kane rolls to the outside in disbelief and Morrison stuns him with a Shooting Star Plancha back to the floor. Big Show meets both on the arena floor and spears them, sending all three crashing through the barricade wall. “Holy Shit” chants abound. Sabu sets up a steel chair on the announcer’s table and executes a beautiful Triple Jump Moonsault to the pile of fallen opponents before rolling back into the ring. Sabu tosses Morrison back into the ring and locks in an Arabian Clutch, but develops an idea of his own. Sabu grabs another Singapore Cane and wraps it in BARBED WIRE. Sabu prepares to take a swing at Morrison, but Kane shows up out of nowhere and drills Sabu with a Tombstone Piledriver. Kane crawls to the cover, but Big Show hits a leg drop to the back of Kane’s head to break up the pin. Big Show lifts Kane up for a Military Press, but Kane drops out and hits a massive uppercut. Sabu nails a chair-aided DDT on Show, but Kane breaks up the pin at two. Morrison staggers Kane with a Flying Chuck. Morrison misses Starship Pain, and Sabu misses with Air Sabu in return. Morrison rolls up Sabu for two, but Sabu kicks out, sending Morrison crashing shoulder first into the ringpost and back down to the floor.
Sabu picks up his Barbed Wire Cane again and swings for the fences, connecting with the back of Kane’s head and directly to Morrison’s face. Both men are now bleeding profusely. Big Show clocks Sabu with WMD, but Sabu has the ring presence to fall back out to the ringside area. Blood dripping from his hair, Kane attempts a chokeslam, but Big Show counters with a massive chokeslam of his own. Morrison is sporting the crimson mask at this point and attempts a Flying Chuck but Big Show stuns him with WMD for a VERY close two count. Big Show yells at the referee and bellows to Morrison to give up. Show playfully kicks Morrison in the temple as he lays helplessly on the mat. Big Show sets up for a chokeslam, but Morrison evades it and answers back with a Pele’ Kick.
Sabu runs in and bastes Big Show with the barbed wire cane squarely between the eyes, opening a brutal gash above Show’s left eye. Sabu covers a bloody Show and gets two. Kane intervenes and gets the barbed wire in the face this time. Morrison catches Sabu with Moonlight Drive. A bloody and enraged Big Show charges after Morrison with a set of steel ring steps, but Morrison hits a desperation chop block, sending Big Show face first into the steps. A determined Morrison lays the prone Big Show across the ring steps, picks up the flaming Singapore Cane and drills Sabu in the face for good measure. With all four men now dripping with blood, Morrison ascends the top rope and crushes Big Show on the steel steps with Starship Pain. Morrison crawls to cover the behemoth and picks up the three.
Winner and STILL ECW Champion: John Morrison
After the match, EMT’s run down to tend to all four warriors, Morrison limps to the back with doctor’s help with the belt in tow as the ECW loyalists give the participants a thunderous standing ovation.
Backstage we see Jim Cornette still trying to court some willing partners for what is now a 7-on-7 Elimination Tag Match. Cornette is seen knocking on the door to the Smackdown Locker room before someone on the other side lets him in.
We go backstage and Alberto Del Rio is reviewing the finish of last week's Smackdown, listens to Sheamus' threat, pauses the tape and buries his head in his hands. Sheamus enters the room and Del Rio returns to his feet. An intense staredown ensues and no words are exchanged. Sheamus sneers at Del Rio and walks out of the room. Alberto sighs and shakes his head, distraught that Teddy Long has put him in this position.
Long comes in and Del Rio demands retribution for what Sheamus did to his Ford Thunderbird on Friday. Teddy informs him that there’s nothing he can really do about that since the car is at the bottom of Lake Michigan at the moment. Del Rio demands financial compensation, which of course, Teddy refuses. Del Rio storms out, but not before promising revenge tonight.
We get a video package demonstrating how each of the five men qualified for the Championship Scramble Match. We go back to the ring and Justin Roberts has the call.
Championship Scramble for the United States Championship: A.J. Styles versus Mr. Anderson versus Teddy Hart versus DDP versus Zack Ryder
Teddy Hart hits the ring first followed by DDP and the match gets under way. Hart uses the speed and agility game to work over Page and it works to a point until DDP catches him out of mid-air with a Discus Clothesline. The five-minute mark rolls around and out comes Mr. Anderson.
Anderson hits the ring and double teams Hart with DDP on a Double Suplex. A game of “Anything You Can Do” breaks out between DDP and Anderson as both men hit Hart with an unrelenting blizzard of DDTs. The buzzer goes off again and here comes Zack Ryder.
Ryder comes into the ring in a fury and takes on both Anderson and DDP with a series of forearms and elbows before staggering Page back into the corner. The distraction buys some time for Teddy Hart to recover and launch an assault on Anderson. Hart connects with a Spike DDT to Anderson while Ryder downs Page with a Hangman Neckbreaker.
All four men are battling in opposite corners when A.J. Styles hits the ring as the final participant. Styles hits a springboard crossbody that takes all five men to the mat. With five minutes remaining, let the Scramble begin.
DDP collects the first fall, dropping Ryder with a Diamond Cutter in the center of the ring. With time winding down, Page barely has time to celebrate before Hart lands Open Hart Surgery from the top rope and picks up a three count of his own. Hart is now champion, but it’s short-lived as Page hits another Diamond Cutter and holds onto the belt for another two minutes. Anderson drills Hart with a Mic Check and picks up another three count, to collect the U.S. Title as we fall to under two minutes.
Anderson returns to his feet and directly into the path of a Rough Ryder for the three count. Long Island Iced Z is in REALLY good position to leave Chicago as champion. As the seconds tick away, a chain of finishers rolls us to the conclusion. Page hits a third Diamond Cutter on Hart and walks into a Rough Ryder before he can make the cover. Ryder takes a Mic Check and A.J. Styles comes from out of NOWHERE with a Spiral Tap on DDP. Anderson whips Styles to the buckle and sets up for a Green Bay Plunge, but A.J. fights out with elbows and drops Anderson with a top rope Styles Clash, collecting the three count with five seconds remaining. The clock expires and A.J. is left holding the belt.
Winner and NEW United States Champion: A.J. Styles
After the match, A.J. is handed the belt and goes to celebrate, but gets jumped from behind by a barricade-jumping LANCE STORM. Storm surprises A.J. with a Northern Lights Suplex and a Canadian Maple Leaf. Officials have to pry Storm off Styles and it appears the U.S. Champion already has a new challenger.
Jeremy Borash shows up outside Jack Swagger's locker room and asks him what he meant during the pre-show, that he had been tapped for a bigger purpose tonight. Swagger tells JB that he's sworn to silence and even if he wasn't, he wouldn't tell Borash. Swagger slams the door in his face.
Lumberjill Strap Match for the WWE Women's Championship: Natalya versus Lita versus Kharma
We go back to the ring and Bob Artese has the call. Trish Stratus and Michelle McCool enters first leading the pack for the RAW Divas, including Molly Holly, Maria and Layla. The ECW Divas are led by Chyna and Victoria and include Sara Del Rey, Katie Lea Burchill and Gail Kim. Finally, the Smackdown Divas enter with Melina and Beth Phoenix and Mickie James all carrying Team Blue banners with Tamina and Maryse close behind.
Natalya enters first to a decent reaction, followed by Lita to a HUGE pop. Finally Kharma enters and the fear is visible on the faces of all divas but four; Lita and Natalya, because of their participation in the match, Beth Phoenix and Chyna also have a determined look on their face, studying the Diva Demolition Machine. Kharma stares down her opponents, looking to tear them apart.
The bell rings and Natalya and Lita try to get the jump on their much larger opponent with a double charge, but Kharma catches both by the throat and drills them with a very impressive Double Chokeslam. Kharma turns her aggressions on Lita by applying an Accordion Rack and mercilessly wrenching on her neck. Natalya breaks up the hold and pays dearly for it as Kharma grabs her by the back of the head and plants her with an Awesome Bomb. Kharma attempts a Running Splash, but Lita rolls out of the way, sending her crashing to the canvas. Lita hits a headscissor takedown, summons up a tremendous amount of energy and clotheslines the massive Kharma over the top rope to the floor.
The Lumberjills convene on Kharma, but the most dominant diva in WWE History fights back, sending Lumberjills flying everywhere, flying into barricades, ringposts, and ring steps. Kharma engages in a standoff with Beth Phoenix and Chyna and slowly climbs the ring apron and back through the ropes. Lita meets her at the middle rope and surprises Kharma with a rope-aided Twist of Fate. Lita makes the cover and gets two before Natalya breaks up the pin. Lita and Natalya start to fight it out and Natalya gets the upper hand with a Double Underhook Suplex. Natalya tries a Sharpshooter, but Lita gets to the bottom rope. Natalya attempts a Wheelbarrow Suplex, but Lita counters into a Victory Roll and gets two.
Lita goes for a Litasault on Kharma but Natalya meets her at the top rope. Lita fights back and sets up for a Superplex, but Kharma surprises Lita from behind and destroys her with a Powerbomb that sends Natalya crashing to the far end of the ring. Natalya returns to her feet in the opposite corner and Kharma crushes her with a Body Avalanche. Back in firm control, Kharma ascends the top rope and flies halfway across the ring with an Amazing Press and splashes Lita.
Not content to win just yet, Kharma picks up both limp opponents by the hair and dumps them over the top rope to the floor. But something unique happens, the entire divas locker room forms a united front and refuses to lash into either of them, instead rolling them back into the ring. Kharma shrugs and takes both down again with some nasty clotheslines. Kharma lifts Natalya up for a Gorilla Press Slam, but Lita returns to her feet and clips her knee out from under her, sending Kharma to the mat. Lita and Natalya summon up some more impressive strength and actually manage to lift Kharma off her feet with a Double Suplex. Lita heads to the top and takes Natalya down with a Lita-Canrana and topples Kharma again with a Snap DDT. Kharma rolls to the outside and the divas start beating the hell out of her with the leather straps. She tries to get back into the ring, but Beth and Chyna keep pulling her back in. Lita hits a Russian Leg Sweep on Natalya and applies a Sleeper with bodyscissors. After an attempted Lita Bomb, Natalya counters out and lands a Michinoku Driver for two.
Natalya locks in a chokehold, but Lita backs her into a corner and comes back with a Tornado DDT for 2 1/2. Kharma is still outside trying to fight off the onslaught and Lita hits a Reverse of Fate. Lita throws herself at the mercy of the masses with a Suicide Dive that takes down Kharma and about four other divas. Lita rolls back into the ring and goes for Poetry in Motion, but Natalya dodges sending her ricocheting off the turnbuckle. Natalya goes for a Bridging German Suplex, but Lita throws elbows and comes back with a Twist of Fate. Lita goes back to the top and connects beautifully with a Litasault and gets the three count, just as Kharma makes it back into the ring at collapses in front of the cover.
Winner and NEW WWE Women’s Champion: Lita
After the match, Kharma beats the hell out of the new champion before she has time to celebrate, clobbering her with a Spinning Backfist. Kharma wastes Natalya with an Awesome Bomb and puts the helpless Lita away with an Implant Buster before casting a threatening glare on all of the divas and leaving up the entrance ramp.
We go backstage and Ted DiBiase and Joe Hennig are celebrating their Tag Team Title win earlier in the evening when Stephanie McMahon enters the room and congratulates them on the win. Steph informs them that a new tag team has stepped forward to become the next #1 contenders and THE USOS step into the room behind her. The Co-GM wishes them the best of luck as the match will take place on RAW tomorrow night.
Back in the arena, the ELIMINATION CHAMBER is being lowered as we get ready for the WWE Championship Match. We get a video package for the Chamber and footage of how all six of these brave souls qualified for Satan’s Structure.
The final entrant in the Chamber Match, Nigel McGuinness hits the ring first, followed by Edge. Bryan Danielson enters next and fills out the third chamber. Finally, Brodie hits the ring and locks into the final empty pod. John Cena hits the ring to a mixed reaction and charges into the Chamber, guns blazing awaiting the final participant, Samoa Joe. Joe and Cena stare each other down from across the ring as the bell sounds and we get under way.
Cena uses the speed game, dazing Joe with a series of four shoulder blocks before Joe captures him on the fifth attempt and counters with an Atomic Drop. Joe wears Cena down with the strength and power advantage. Cena gets rocked back into the corner and Joe charges in with a Face Wash Boot and another swift kick directly to the jaw. The brawl continues out onto the steel as the first pod opens and it’s BRODIE LEE.
Before Brodie can set foot into the ring, Joe meets him with a Suicide Elbow through the ropes, sending both men crashing into the chain link wall. Joe returns to his feet and Cena rockets him over the top rope back into the ring where the brawling starts up again. Brodie gets back to a vertical base and catches Cena with a Big Rig Boot as Joe counters John’s Irish Whip. Brodie catches a charging Joe off guard with a Superkick. The second pod opens and Brodie is the only man standing as BRYAN DANIELSON enters the fray. The American Dragon steps out, climbs to the top of the pod and stuns Brodie with a BEAUTIFUL Missile Dropkick.
Danielson briefly has Brodie on the ropes, trying to mount a comeback until The Big Rig comes back with a devastating Truck Stop Powerbomb that Danielson found the wherewithal to kick out of at two. Brodie sets up for a Double Underhook Powerbomb, but Joe intervenes with an Ole Kick that takes all three men off their feet. Cena sees an opening and takes advantage of a downed Joe by locking in the STFU. Joe is on the verge of tapping out when Danielson climbs to the top of the pod again and breaks the hold with a Diving Headbutt. Bryan whips Cena to the corner and lights him up with a blinding rush of shoot kicks and knife-edge chops. Joe and Brodie go at it in the opposite corner as the third pod opens and out comes EDGE.
Edge targets Danielson with a Spear, but Bryan moves at the last second, throwing Edge at Cena instead. With Cena out of the equation, Edge and Danielson go at it. Edge meets Bryan with a picture perfect Big Boot that sends The American Dragon careening over the top rope to the steel grate floor. Edge targets Joe with another Spear, but Joe also moves and Brodie takes the full impact of the Spear. Edge stands bewildered over the fallen Brodie, allowing Joe to sneak up from behind and lock in the Coquina Clutch. Before succumbing, Edge is able to kick off the turnbuckle and nearly secure a pinfall. An enraged Joe releases the hold and drills Edge with an Island Driver for the three count.
Edge is eliminated.
Edge makes his exit from the Chamber when an unidentified hooded man jumps the barricade and attacks him from behind and applies an Ankle Lock. Several referees and more officials try to separate the man from Edge. He releases the hold, removes the hood and it’s KURT ANGLE. Angle is removed by security, screaming “THIS ISN’T OVER, EDGE!” The distraction opens the door for Danielson to surprise Joe with a nasty quad kick and a series of YES Kicks before dropping Joe with a swift kick to temple. The buzzer sounds and out come NIGEL McGUINNESS.
Nigel goes right after Bryan with Divorce Court, but only gets a two. Brodie starts destroying everyone in his path, including nearly taking Nigel McGuinness’ head off with a Big Rig Boot. Before Brodie can make a cover, Cena surprises the big man with a CATACLYSMIC FU over the top rope to the steel grate. Cena makes the cover and gets the three.
Brodie Lee is eliminated.
Cena hits a Five Knuckle Shuffle on Joe and gets two. Cena works over Joe with a combination of stiff punches to the gut and goes to the top rope for the Leg Drop, but Joe knocks him off his perch and drills Cena with a Muscle Buster for another three count.
John Cena is eliminated.
Joe turns his attention to Danielson and knocks him senseless with an Exploder Suplex. Joe tries to continue the assault but is caught from behind by another Divorce Court by Nigel. McGuinness floats over into a London Dungeon and refuses to release the hold. Joe is trapped in the center of the ring and has no choice but to tap.
Samoa Joe is eliminated.
Bryan and Nigel stare each other down from opposite sides of the chamber. Both men are pretty banged up, Danielson clutching his ribs, Nigel staggering to his feet with concussion-like symptoms. The final participants beat the hell out of each other for about five more minutes before McGuinness sets a bloody Danielson up for The Tower of London, but somehow Bryan pushes off the top rope and locks in Cattle Mutilation. McGuinness struggles valiantly for two minutes and refuses to tap out. A determined Danielson floats over yet again and cinches in the YES Lock. The combination of the torque on the neck and Danielson screaming “YES” in his ear is too much for Nigel to take and he taps out.
Winner and NEW WWE Champion: Bryan Danielson
After the match, Danielson celebrates in the ring when the title is presented--a throwback to the classic WWE Championship Belt that has been slightly modified for the modern era--Nigel rests in the corner and casts an icy stare at Danielson as he celebrates with the gold. Confetti is flying everywhere and the crowd serenades the new WWE Champion with “YES” Chants, “Best In The World” chants, and singing along to “The Final Countdown”.
We go backstage to Jim Cornette talking with Shane McMahon and telling him that tonight the WWE is going to go down one of two paths; Either Camp Cornette wins and RAW becomes anything but “Business as Usual”, or worse, Camp Cornette loses and he pushes the button on his detonator, launching a “virus” that WWE will be unable to combat. Cornette tells Shane that he would NEVER tell him to root against his sister, but maybe it would be best if the odds didn’t go in her favor tonight. Cornette leaves Shane in the lurch and Shane stares him down as we go back to the ring.
First Blood Match: Sheamus versus Alberto Del Rio
Back in the ring and Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Del Rio, who enters the arena in a 1972 Chevy Stingray valued at over $100,000. Del Rio hits the ring and looks ready for war. Sheamus is out next and wastes little time running to the ring, Del Rio cuts him off with a kick to the head as he slides under the bottom rope. The bell rings and the match gets under way.
The match kicks off in a very violent, physical manner. Sheamus takes a swipe at Del Rio with a steel chair but Del Rio ducks and The Great White connects with Ricardo instead, busting him open. The crowd ROARS its approval as blood streams down Ricardo's face.
Action quickly spills to the outside and through the crowd as Sheamus and Del Rio hit each other with everything that isn't nailed down. Sheamus and Del Rio may have even tossed a fan or two at each other. Sheamus hoists Del Rio and tosses him back over the barricade with a Fallaway Slam. The Great White tries for a Short Arm Clothesline, but Del Rio dodges and comes back with a Fireman's Carry Gutbuster on the floor. Del Rio hits an Exploder Suplex that sends Sheamus flying into the Spanish announcers.
Del Rio rolls Sheamus back into the ring and Sheamus answers with a High Cross, but Del Rio escapes and answers with a Step-Up Enziguri and a Backstabber. Del Rio attacks Sheamus' taped ribs with a chair, striking him in the back repeatedly. Del Rio takes the chair and hits another enziguri, but still can't bust Sheamus open. Del Rio goes for a Single-Arm DDT, but Sheamus counters with an inverted backbreaker. The Celtic Warrior drops Del Rio with the Fiery Red Hand and White Noise before grabbing the chair again. Sheamus takes a swing but Alberto ducks and returns with a Double Knee Arm Breaker.
Del Rio locks in the Cross Armbreaker, but it does no good. Del Rio goes for a Leapfrog Guillotine, but Sheamus dodges, sending him crashing to the floor. The brawl rolls up the entrance ramp and to Del Rio's Stingray. Sheamus charges and Alberto comes back with a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker. Sheamus drapes Del Rio over the hood of his car and hits the forearm clubs. Del Rio staggers and Sheamus follows in with a Frenzy of slaps and chops before clobbering him with a spinning backfist. The Irishman wraps up with a Rolling Fireman's Carry on the floor.
Sheamus lifts the hood of the Stingray and sandwiches Del Rio twenty times, but can't draw blood. Del Rio produces a tire iron from the backseat and buries it in Sheamus' ribs before bashing it over Sheamus skull, still no blood. Del Rio drags Sheamus to the plate glass wall at the top of the stage and attempts another Cross Arm Breaker, but Sheamus dodges and comes back with a Brogue Kick that sends Del Rio through the wall. This draws blood, but the ref doesn't notice yet. Sheamus moves Del Rio back to the ring and goes to work with the chair. Sheamus drills Del Rio with the coup d' grace, a steel chair directly between the eyes to open up the gash on Alberto's forehead. The ref calls for the bell and this one is over.
Winner: Sheamus
After the match, Del Rio rocks Sheamus with a set of steel ring steps that opens a puncture wound in The Celtic Warrior's forehead. As Sheamus lies on the canvas bleeding, Del Rio locks on the Cross Armbreaker again. The ref breaks up the hold and Del Rio stares down the fallen Sheamus as he helps Ricardo back to his feet and the two of them stagger to the back.
We go backstage and Cornette is discussing strategy with his assistant, Curt Hawkins and the five confirmed members of his team. Paul Heyman shows up from behind, gets off the phone and tells Cornette that he’s received word from Stephanie’s camp that someone from RAW just jumped ship to ECW, just so he could play a part in taking Cornette down. Heyman tells Jim that he’s made it known over the years that he doesn’t care for or like the McMahon family or their practices, but at least he respected them, which is more than he can say for Cornette. Cornette seethes and storms off with his team to the gorilla position.
We go to a video package highlighting the history of this match with monumental implications.
7-on-7 Tag Team Elimination Match for Total Control of RAW: Team Stephanie (Triple H, Batista, Randy Orton, ???, ???, Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker) versus Camp Cornette (Brock Lesnar, Wade Barrett, Dolph Ziggler, ???, ???, The Miz and Cody Rhodes)
We go to the ring and Jim Cornette shows up on the ramp to introduce his team. Out first is Wade Barrett, followed by The Miz, Dolph Ziggler and Cody Rhodes. Cornette introduces his next two team members, and they’re ECW’s JACK SWAGGER and The World’s Strongest Man MARK HENRY from Smackdown! Finally, out comes Brock Lesnar and Camp Cornette’s VERY imposing team heads down to ringside.
Stephanie McMahon comes out onto the stage and tells Cornette that she wouldn’t miss this for the world and is going to love every minute of watching him go down. Steph tells him that as far as his “Detonator” is concerned, BRING IT ON. EVOLUTION’S music hits first and RANDY ORTON and BATISTA hit the stage, accompanied by RIC FLAIR in street clothes, which draws A LOT of WOOOO’s from the Chicago crowd. Finally Triple H hits the entranceway behind them. The Game looks to all three of them and Evolution’s theme moves seamlessly into DEGENERATION X’s theme as SHAWN MICHAELS makes his way out to a HUGE POP. Steph reveals her two newest partners as THE HARDYS hit the stage, Jeff from Smackdown and Matt, who has apparently jumped to ECW. Finally, the lights go down, the gong goes off and THE UNDERTAKER begins his slow ominous trudge to the entrance ramp.
The lights come back up, and Taker removes his jacket and hat and Team Stephanie bum rushes the ring, resulting in ABSOLUTE BEDLAM as all fourteen men brawl around the ring. The referee finally gets everything back under control, the bell rings and Batista and Brock Lesnar start the titanic clash. Batista tries for a Swinging Side Slam, but Brock throws elbows to the head and counters out into an Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex. Batista returns to his feet and charges with a Spear, but Lesnar comes from out of NOWHERE and slaps on the Kimura Lock. This clears the benches as all twelve men disrupt the hold. In the midst of the chaos, Batista tags to Orton and Lesnar tags Rhodes.
Orton stuns Rhodes with a series of hard, right fists and vicious clotheslines. Orton drops Cody with a very crisp powerslam and his signature backbreaker. Orton stalks Cody as he gets back to his feet and drills him with an RKO to pick up the quick three and already Camp Cornette is at a 7-6 disadvantage. Orton signals for another Cornette member to enter the ring.
Cody Rhodes is eliminated.
Dolph Ziggler comes charging in and Orton crushes him with a brutal lariat before making the tag to Shawn Michaels. Michaels slams Ziggler and goes up for a Diving Elbow Drop. Michaels tags to Matt Hardy and Matt backs Ziggler into the corner and beats him down to the mat with a series of rights. Hardy drops Dolph with a Side Effect and climbs to the top, nailing a Diving Leg Drop to Ziggler that’s good for a near fall.
Ziggler frantically tags to The Miz who comes in and begins working over Hardy with a series of rights and lefts before hitting Matt in the corner with the clothesline. Miz goes to tag Ziggler in again and pats him on the back, but before returning to the apron, THE MIZ TURNS and stuns Ziggler with a SKULL-CRUSHING FINALE! OH MY GOD! THE MIZ HAS TURNED ON CAMP CORNETTE! Jim Cornette screams at Miz as The Awesome One exits up the ramp to CHEERS, flipping off the remaining members of Team Cornette. Miz takes the countout and just like that, it’s 7-5, advantage Steph.
The Miz is eliminated.
Matt makes a tag to Jeff and Mark Henry steps in in The Miz’ place. They lock up and Jeff gets tossed halfway across the ring. Jeff charges back in to lock up and Henry tosses him away again. Jeff channels his foolish side and slaps Henry across the face. Henry just smiles and clobbers Jeff with a massive clothesline and a jumping elbow drop. Henry tries for a Fallaway Slam but Hardy fights out and comes back with a Whisper In The Wind and a Double Leg Drop to the midsection. Jeff goes to the top for a Swanton Bomb, but Henry knocks him off the top rope. Henry hits a Gorilla Press Slam and throws Hardy to the outside, sending him crashing into the broadcast table.
Henry throws Hardy back in and crushes his spine with a Backbreaker Drop, picks him up and hits another one. Henry breaks Jeff in half with a third and throws him to the turf for a two count. Henry stalks Jeff as he returns to his feet, but Jeff fights back, taking Henry off his feet and going to the top for a Swanton Bomb and connects. Before Jeff can capitalize with a cover, Ziggler stuns him with a kick to the back of the head. Henry picks Hardy up off the mat and plants him with The World’s Strongest Slam for the three count.
Jeff Hardy is eliminated.
Matt Hardy runs in attempts a Twist of Fate. Henry powers out and throws Matt to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with another World’s Strongest Slam. Henry goes to the top and avalanches Matt with a Vader Bomb for the three count.
Matt Hardy is eliminated.
Shawn Michaels comes in and Henry catches him with a Scoop Slam. Wade Barrett makes the tag and begins stomping away. Barrett hits a Diving Elbow Smash of his own before making the tag and here comes Brock Lesnar. This is bad. Lesnar comes in and starts throwing brutal mounted punches, one of which busts Michaels in the mouth and HBK is bleeding profusely. Lesnar tags Barrett back in, and Wade connects with a slingshot backbreaker before applying an accordion rack.
Michaels flails out of the submission and comes back with a Slingshot Cross Body. HBK crawls desperately to the corner and tags Batista. Barrett tags to Jack Swagger. Batista pounds on Swagger and the referee has to pull him off, but The Animal dives right back in. Batista is beating violently on Swagger’s face, even drawing blood from his forehead. Batista picks Swagger up with a Double Handed Choke lift and drubs him with a Front Powerslam. Batista drives Swagger back into the corner with some shoulder thrusts and puts him down with a Spinebuster. The Animal hits a Batista Bomb on Swagger, but Mark Henry makes the blind tag and makes his way in. Barrett slides a chair into the ring and Batista picks it up and wears Henry out with it, resulting in a DQ.
Batista is eliminated.
The Animal goes on a rampage, as all remaining members of Camp Cornette come charging in and Batista meets each and every one of them with a chair to the face. Batista slams the chair down and leaves the ring.
A bloody HBK steps back into the ring and makes the tag to Triple H, Michaels blindsides Henry with Sweet Chin Music and The World’s Strongest Man stumbles into the path of a waiting Pedigree. Triple H pins Henry and it’s 4 on 4.
Mark Henry is eliminated.
Ziggler comes back in and catches a Harley Race High Knee and a Double A Spinebuster. The Game hits a brutal DDT and it’s good for two. Dolph stuns Triple H with a Name Dropper and it’s good for another nearfall. Ziggler tags in Swagger and he stomps away at the Cerebral Assassin in the corner.
Swagger tosses Triple H to the outside and waits for him to return to the ring. Hunter rolls back into the ring and Swagger throws a football tackle to his surgically repaired knees before tagging back to Barrett. Barrett headbutts The Game and stomps on his throat. Barrett throws Triple H head first into the turnbuckle before connecting with a neckbreaker and a Big Boot.
Barrett tries for Winds of Change, but Hunter rebounds and takes Barrett off his feet with a desperation lariat. Triple H sets up for a Pedigree, but Barrett counters with a Back Body Drop. Brock Lesnar tags in and we get the match we’ve been waiting for. Lesnar sets a prone Triple H up for the F-5, but Michaels makes a blind tag. Lesnar connects with the F-5 and crawls to the cover. The ref won’t make the count and Lesnar confronts him, unaware that HBK has tagged in. Lesnar turns around and walks into a flying forearm smash. Shawn kips up and bodyslams Brock before coming off the top with a Diving Elbow. Michaels gets up a full head of steam and takes Lesnar’s head off with Sweet Chin Music, collapses into the cover and gets a surprise three count.
Brock Lesnar has been eliminated.
Jim Cornette springs up onto the ring apron and begins berating the referee for a fast count. Michaels slingshots Cornette into the ring and Jim begs off. HBK hits Sweet Chin Music on Cornette to a huge pop and Cornette staggers to Triple H, who sets up for a Pedigree. The wheels start turning in Triple H’s head and he decides against it. Hunter calls Stephanie into the ring and she sets up for the Pedigree instead. Stephanie drops Cornette’s face to the canvas and heads back out to ringside. Michaels rolls Cornette out of the ring with his feet and takes it right to Jack Swagger.
Michaels takes Swagger to the outside and bounces his skull off the Spanish announce table before rolling him back into the ring. HBK hits a Moonsault for two. Michaels whips Swagger to the buckle and follows in with a flying forearm but Swagger dodges and Michaels collides with The Undertaker, sending him off the apron. The distraction buys Swagger enough time to surprise HBK with a Gutwrench Powerbomb for three.
Shawn Michaels is eliminated.
Triple H and The Undertaker try to get in the ring at the same time, which leads to an argument. Swagger clips Triple H from behind and hits a Swagger Bomb in the corner for another three count. We’re down to 3-on-2 in Cornette’s favor.
Triple H is eliminated.
DeGeneration X takes Undertaker to the arena floor and begin double teaming him out of frustration before leaving ringside.
Triple H rolls Undertaker back into the ring and he and Swagger are the legal men. Swagger continues to stomp away at The Deadman before tagging in Barrett. Barrett works Taker over in the corner with a series of rights and an ugly left hook that lays him out. Barrett stands Taker back up in the corner and connects with a Back Kick. Taker begins fighting back out but before he can build momentum with the soupbones, Barrett answers with Winds of Change for another two count. Ziggler tags in and locks in the Sleeper Hold, taking Undertaker to the canvas but only gets the arm to drop twice. Undertaker fights back to his feet, battles out of the hold and sets up for the Tombstone, but Ziggler drops down the back and hits the ZigZag for a very close two count.
Barrett tags back in and we have a slugfest as both he and Taker throw a flurry of lefts and rights. Barrett finally comes up with a Pumphandle Falling Powerslam for another two. Barrett goes for a suplex, but Taker blocks and comes back with a Chokeslam.
Swagger tags back in and keeps Taker from making the tag to Orton. Swagger sends Undertaker into the corner with such force that he bounces back out, falling to his back. Swagger whips Taker to the corner and rebounds with a simultaneous clothesline that takes both men off their feet.
Swagger tries to keep Taker from his corner, but he makes the tag to Orton this time. The Viper comes in with a Thesz Press and begins swinging wildly with punches to Swagger’s face. Orton comes back with another vicious powerslam and a series of clotheslines before dropping Swagger with a backbreaker. Swagger rolls to the apron and Orton drapes him over the middle rope. Ziggler intervenes and Orton catches him with a kick to the jaw. Orton sets up both Ziggler and Swagger for a Viper DDT and connects. Orton stalks Swagger and sets up for an RKO, but it’s blocked. Swagger sets up for a Gutwrench Powerbomb, but Orton lands on his feet and drops Swagger with an RKO. Orton backs into the corner and punts Swagger in the skull. The Viper makes the cover and gets the three count.
Jack Swagger is eliminated.
ALBERTO DEL RIO runs down and clocks Orton with a Step-Up Enziguri. Barrett drops Orton with Wasteland to pick up the three count.
Randy Orton is eliminated.
Barrett rolls to the outside and throws Undertaker back in before tagging to Ziggler.
Ziggler attempts a Stinger Splash, but Undertaker dodges, sending him crashing into the buckle. Undertaker rebounds with a nasty big boot and sets up for Old School. Taker crashes down on Ziggler’s shoulder and levels him with a Chokeslam before signaling for the Tombstone. Barrett makes a blind tag, pulls Ziggler out of position and takes The Deadman down with a big boot of his own. Ziggler and Barrett double team Undertaker with more stomps, making numerous quick tags. Finally, Barrett lets Taker return to his feet, only to plant him with Wasteland and watch him roll to the arena floor. Ziggler moves to the ringside area to peel back some of the mats.
Barrett hits Wasteland on the concrete and shoots him back into the ring. Barrett tags Ziggler and instructs him to finish it with a Tombstone Piledriver. Ziggler sets up, but Taker shifts his weight and ends up in position for a Tombstone of his own. The Deadman puts away a quivering Ziggler for the three count.
Dolph Ziggler is eliminated.
Barrett tries to take advantage of the fact that Undertaker is barely able to stand and charges his opponent, but Undertaker collapses into perfect position to apply Hell’s Gate. Barrett struggles for several moments but the finish inevitable as Barrett taps out and this battle is finally over.
Winners: Team Stephanie, The Undertaker
After the match, the lights go down, leaving only a pale blue haze as rain falls from the rafters. A battered, but unbeaten Undertaker uses the ropes to pull himself back to his feet while clutching his ribs. The Deadman stands victorious and Stephanie McMahon joins him in the ring to assess the carnage this match has left. Stephanie McMahon now has FULL control of Monday Night Raw and Jim Cornette is out of luck.
Backstage with Jeremy Borash and a revived Jim Cornette. Cornette looks absolutely disgusted. Jim tells The McMahons that he warned of pushing the button on his “detonator” and with Steph running the show he now has no choice. Cornette introduces a graphic containing his “Detonation Code” that reads: “IMPA_CT.K6TM_11. He says the code will be cracked in the midst of tonight’s World Championship Match and the virus will be loosed upon their wretched company. Cornette heads for the nearest arena exit and slams the door behind him.
Teddy Long speaks with Shane McMahon and tells him that all of tonight’s Extreme action has him in the mood for some big-match scenarios and makes a proposal to Shane for a main event on tomorrow night’s RAW between whoever walks away as the NEW World Heavyweight Champion and his own WWE Champion. Shane grins and tells Teddy that he’ll put in a word to Stephanie and see what we can do. Teddy walks away with a huge smile on his face as we go back to the ring.
We go to Jeremy Borash who's interviewing the Unholy Alliance with Abyss, Rellik, Kevin Thorn and Whipwreck trying to get Tajiri's head in the game. Abyss says the whole family is reeling from the abduction of James Mitchell last Tuesday and promises to bring Vampiro to justice. Whipwreck acts as the spokesman of the group and says the first step on the road to recovery is Tajiri winning the Cruiserweight Championship tonight. They launch The Japanese Buzzsaw out the door and we go back to ringside.
Tables Match for the Cruiserweight Title: Kaval versus Tajiri versus Evan Bourne
Tables are set up all around the ring as the bell rings and Justin Roberts has the call. Out first is Tajiri to a chorus of boos. Next is Kaval to a respectable pop from the Indy crowd. Finally Evan Bourne hits the stage to the biggest pop of the three. Bourne slides into the ring and the combatants begin circling the perimeter waiting to make the first move. The bell rings again and here we go.
Kaval goes after both men with a flurry of Mongolian Chops. Bourne and Tajiri retreat to the outside and Kaval floors them both with a Springboard Phoenix Splash. The World Warrior tosses Tajiri back into the ring and ties him to the Tree of Woe before connecting with the Warrior’s Wrath. Bourne slides back in and Kaval hits a series of knife-edge chops. Kaval attempts a Springboard Jumping High Kick, but Tajiri rolls away and Bourne connects with a Shining Wizard and sends The Buzzsaw to the floor with a Headscissor Takedown.
Bourne attempts a Double Helix, but Kaval moves out of the way and locks on a Dragon Clutch. Tajiri runs in and Kaval answers with a flying headbutt. Kaval stuns Tajiri with a Black Magic Kick and follows with a Powerdrive Elbow. Kaval turns his attention back to Bourne and locks on the Bite of the Dragon. Kaval attacks with a Krush Combo and Tajiri locks on an Octopus Hold. Kaval backs into a corner and rebounds with a Tidal Crush.
Kaval sets Tajiri on a table and goes up for a Ghetto Stomp, but Bourne knocks him off the top to the floor. Bourne goes up for Air Bourne but Tajiri blinds him with Poison Mist, sending him tumbling to the floor as well. Kaval climbs back in and Tajiri catches him with a Buzzsaw Rush and locks in the Tarantula. Kaval falls to the canvas and Tajiri clocks him with a Buzzsaw Kick. Tajiri rolls Kaval onto the table, but Evan Bourne jumps back up on the ramp and hits a Pele Kick that drops Tajiri on top of the table as well. Bourne ascends the top rope again and comes off with Air Bourne, but at the last second Kaval rolls off the table, sending Bourne and Tajiri crashing through the table. The bell rings and the referee has apparently rewarded the decision to Kaval.
Winner and NEW WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Kaval
After the match, Evan Bourne pleads his case, that he actually put Tajiri through the table with Air Bourne, but the referee has ruled that since Kaval was the only superstar NOT to go through a table, the belt is his. Bourne pleads with the ref to reconsider, but the ruling is final. Kaval is the NEW Cruiserweight Champion!
We go backstage and Delirious is eating a Happy Meal and ranting about his double cheeseburger. Slyck Wagner Brown walks by, takes one look, and continues walking, shaking his head.
We get an excellent video package of CM Punk and Chris Jericho for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Three Stages of Hell Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: CM Punk versus Chris Jericho
We go back to the ring and we see technicians assembling the classic “Blue” Steel Cage and construction is all but complete. The Countdown works its way down from 10 and the lights go down in the arena. With everyone in the dark, the lights on Jericho’s jacket begin flashing and the pyro goes off. The lights come back up and Jericho remains still as pyrotechnics streak from wires attached to the jacket resulting in a very impressive display. Jericho removes the jacket and heads toward the cage. Jericho climbs up the outside wall and stands defiantly at the top before climbing down into the cage. As Jericho awaits his opponent, a pendulum chant of “JERICHO/CM PUNK” echoes throughout the arena.
Finally, a twist, as “This Fire Burns” plays over the speakers to a MASSIVE POP and an ICE CREAM TRUCK rolls down onto the entrance ramp. The speakers on the truck rise from their pod as the music comes to a stop and suddenly all you hear from the megaphones is “I SAID I WANTED THEM...AND I GOT MY ICE CREAM BARS DAMMIT!” “Cult of Personality” blares through the trucks speakers and Punk kicks open the back door of the truck, carrying BOXES upon BOXES of BRAND NEW WWE ICE CREAM BARS. Punk grabs a T-Shirt Cannon and begins firing individually wrapped Ice Cream Bars to members of the hometown crowd. Punk climbs on top of the Ice Cream Truck and the crowd EXPLODES and Jericho looks none too pleased. Punk, having stolen Jericho’s thunder AND the show, makes his way to the cage for the main event.
HOWARD FINKEL gives formal ring introductions and the bell rings to get this match under way. Punk and Jericho exchange glares from across the cage, they charge each other and start brawling. Punk with knees and punches to the gut. Jericho answers back with some backhand chops. Punk returns the chops in kind, forces Jericho into the corner, beats his head against the wall of the cage and pounds him to the mat, stomping away.
Punk charges in for a Shining Wizard, but Jericho ducks and slingshots Punk into the wall, but he latches to the cage and begins climbing. Jericho pulls him back down and drops him with a swift right hook. Jericho climbs the cage, gets halfway up and comes back at Punk with a Missile Dropkick for two. Jericho sets up for a Tiger Suplex but Punk fights out and backs Y2J back into the corner with a rush of elbow strikes. The Best In The World wedges Jericho’s arm into the footholds of the cage and hits a can opener across the bar, leaving Jericho writhing on the canvas.
Jericho pulls himself back up in the corner and this time Punk connects with the Shining Wizard. Punk leads back out with a Bulldog but Jericho blocks and comes out of the corner with a Flying Forearm Smash. Jericho scales the cage again, but Punk catches him near the top with a Roundhouse Kick sending Y2J back to the canvas. Punk climbs to the top and nails Jericho with a Suicide Dive for a very close two count. Punk starts throwing some Mongolian Chops, and Jericho counters with a Repeating Powerbomb. Jericho hits a Breakdown and gets another two count. Jericho puts one foot on Punk’s shoulder, but he kicks out again. Punk hits a leg sweep that sends Jericho crashing face first into the cage wall and comes back with a springboard clothesline.
Punk sets up for the GTS, but Jericho escapes and counters with a spinning wheel kick for another nearfall. The Man of 1004 Holds answers with a one-handed bulldog and yes...an Armbar. Punk fights out with a hammerlock and a short-arm clothesline of his own. Jericho hits a Flashback and a back suplex, but Punk kicks out at one. Punk attempts another GTS and Jericho shifts into a Codebreaker on the descent. Y2J crawls to the cover and gets 2 1/2. Jericho hits a double underhook backbreaker and a springboard dropkick after rebounding off the cage wall. Chris continues the onslaught with a running back elbow and a backbreaker rack, but Punk refuses to quit.
Jericho climbs the cage, but Punk stops him at the top rope and brings him back down with a Frankensteiner. Punk clocks Y2J with a step-up enziguri and begins climbing the cage again. Jericho pulls him back down and drives his skull into the mat with a Jericho Spike. Chris sets up for a Northern Lights Suplex, but Punk counters out and hits a swinging neckbreaker for another nearfall. Punk heads for the door and Jericho drops him with another Codebreaker and a Lionsault for two. Jericho starts thinking and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Several minutes of Punk scraping, clawing and crawling for the threshold of the door, but to no avail. Jericho releases the hold and shoves Punk's head through the steel cage mesh and applies the Walls of Jericho again while simultaneously choking Punk out.
Jericho attempts a Diving Uppercut, but Punk dodges and locks in a beautiful Koji Clutch but Jericho won’t surrender. Jericho returns to his feet and charges but Punk is waiting with a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker. With Jericho out cold, Punk scales to the top of the cage. The former WWE Champion starts to climb down the outside, but has an epiphany as he takes the first step. Punk gets the 1000-yard stare on his face and raises his arms above his head. The entire Allstate is on their feet as Punk PLUMMETS FIFTEEN FEET with a Randy Savage Elbow to the Canadian heart of Chris Jericho. The crowd EXPLODES into a furious applause. Punk clutches his ribs and crawls desperately to the cover and gets the three.
Winner of the Fall: CM Punk (Punk leads 1-0).
Jericho lies motionless in the ring and Punk is barely stirring as the cage walls come down. The next fall is a STREET FIGHT and as soon as the combatants return to their feet, anything is fair game.
Jericho rolls to the arena floor and Punk follows, throwing him headfirst into the barricade. Punk goes to the broadcast desks and throws no less than fifteen steel chairs into the ring. Punk rolls Jericho back in and reaches under the ring, finding the barbed wire Singapore Cane used earlier in the evening. Punk takes the barbed wire cane and flays Jericho in the back with it. Blood is now pouring from Y2J’s back as Punk throws another Roundhouse Kick and clubs Jericho in each temple with the Singapore Cane. With his forehead now torn open, Jericho starts pooling on the canvas, bleeding profusely. Punk goes to take another swing, but Jericho collapses to the outside and Punk follows. Jericho crawls back into the ring and Punk comes up with a clothesline with the cane.
Punk with another shot and at this point, Jericho is begging for mercy, clinging to Punk’s kickpads and asking Punk to lay off. Punk looks to the crowd and Jericho answers with a low blow and a Springboard Corner Kick that knocks Punk off the apron and through one of the waiting tables from the Cruiserweight Title Match, leaving Punk lying in splinters. Jericho goes to work pounding on Punk’s face with his wrapped fists and whips Punk clear over the barricade into the crowd. Jericho continues working over Punk’s face. Punk tries to fight back but Jericho comes back with a headbutt and a thumb to the eye before rolling him back into the ring. Jericho removes the padding from the top turnbuckle and kicks Punk in the head. Punk starts throwing more backhand chops and works Y2J back into the corner. Punk goes for another Shining Wizard, but Jericho dodges, sending Punk crashing knee first into the exposed buckle and crashing down to the floor. Punk grabs his knee, clearly in severe pain.
Jericho grabs Punk by the hair and drags him to the barricade in front of his family and friends. Y2J pulls back the padding on the retaining wall and slams Punk’s face into it. Jericho continues to taunt the Chicago crowd but Punk tackles Jericho to the ground and bashes his face in. Punk rips apart the announce table and peels up some ringside mats attempting a piledriver, but Jericho counters with a back drop.
Jericho clobbers Punk in the face with a television monitor and slams a piece of the announce table over Punk’s back. Jericho with a knee to the back and rolls back into the ring. Punk recovers and tries for a Springboard Clothesline, but Jericho catches him on the dive with the barbed wire kendo stick. Jericho wallops Punk repeatedly with the Singapore Cane drawing blood. As Punk lies helplessly on the mat, Jericho brandishes the cane at Punk’s family. Punk stuns Jericho with a roll up and picks up another two count. Punk charges Y2J again but Jericho blasts him in the face with the Singapore Cane, busting him open. Jericho makes the cover but still only gets two. Jericho grabs the ring bell and drills Punk in the face. Jericho sets up a chair on Punk’s throat and watches him struggle underneath it.
Punk reaches the Kendo Stick and takes a desperate swing that catches Jericho in the ribs. Punk climbs out from under the chair and whips Jericho to the exposed buckle, hits the shining wizard. Punk grabs a ladder from under the ring and bridges it across two chairs. Punk hits the Shining Wizard again and delivers a bulldog across the ladder, breaking it in half. The crowd is hot for Punk at this point, as The Best In The World rolls to the outside, kicks the top step off the ring steps and produces a bag of THUMBTACKS. Punk spreads the tacks over the canvas with his boot and delivers a low blow with the barbed wire Kendo stick. Jericho is clearly in agony as Punk sets up for the GTS. Jericho slides out and sets up for the Walls, but Punk counters out. Punk rebounds with a Snap Powerslam and drops Jericho back first onto the sheet of thumbtacks on the canvas. Jericho screams out in pain to the point of sobbing. Punk goes to the top for the Savage Elbow, but Jericho cuts him off and attempts a Superplex, but Punk pushes him back into the thumbtacks and Jericho lies motionless, unable to respond to the level of pain that he’s in at this point.
Punk comes off the top with the Elbow and lands in the thumbtacks himself. As Punk rolls around in anguish, a chant of “THIS IS AWESOME” roars through the crowd. Punk goes for the GTS, but Jericho fights out and drops Punk with an enziguri. Jericho goes for a Lionsault but Punk moves, sending Jericho into the thumbtacks again. Punk goes for another GTS, but Jericho fights down and sends Punk head first to the corner through a chair wedged in the ropes. Jericho makes the cover and gets two. Jericho connects with a Codebreaker out of nowhere but can’t capitalize on the cover. Jericho tries to lock in the Walls and Punk uses the last of his strength to counter out and send Jericho flying shoulder first into the ringpost. Punk rolls to the outside and grabs a fire extinguisher, first spraying Jericho in the face and then strangling him with the hose.
Punk buries the extinguisher in Jericho’s ribs and clubs him in the temple. Punk rolls Jericho onto the announce table and hits a Diving Elbow Smash from the ring to the table. Punk weakly tosses Jericho back into the ring and gets another two. Jericho sets up for a GTS, but Punk slides out and sets up for the Walls. Jericho won’t turn over, so Punk slingshots Jericho into the exposed turnbuckle and sets him back up for the GTS. Punk connects and both men collapse to the mat.
With both men down, the lights in the arena go out. Without warning, JIM CORNETTE’S DETONATION CODE appears on the titantron. The remaining numbers roll over in sequence and here’s what we’re left with:
IMPA_CT. K6TM_11
IMPA_CT. KOTM_11
IMPA_CT. KOTM_J1
IMPA_CT. KOTM_JJ
Red Smoke billows from the entranceway and the familiar strains of “MY WORLD” blare through the speakers. When the smoke clears, the one and only JEFF JARRETT stands, guitar raised over his head. THE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN HAS RETURNED TO THE WWE!!!!
Jarrett hits the ring and we discover that his guitar is rigged with more thumbtacks. Jarrett stands in the middle of the ring staring down both Jericho and Punk in opposite corners. Jarrett decides which one to take his aggressions out on, waiting to see who returns to their feet first. Punk gets up first and Jarrett SHATTERS EL KABONG over Punk’s head. Thumbtacks flying everywhere. Jarrett waits for Jericho to return to his feet and drills him with The Stroke. Jarrett drags Jericho to the cover and leaves the ring. The ref has no choice but to count the cover and the three. Unbelievable.
Winner of the Fall: Chris Jericho (Falls Even at 1-1).
Both men lie unconscious in the ring as officials lower the harness and attach the World Heavyweight Championship belt and send it back to the rafters. Slowly but surely, Jericho drags himself back to the corner and uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet. Y2J rolls to the outside and produces eight ladders from under the ring and bridges them between the ring apron and the barricade end to end. Jericho walks to the opposite side of the ring and produces eight more tables and does the same. Jericho heads over to the broadcast table and pulls a 25-foot ladder from under the ring and slides it awkwardly into the ring before rolling back in himself. Jericho grabs a chair and stalks the staggering Punk before dropping him with a chair-aided Codebreaker, sending Punk rolling onto the tables.
Jericho begins climbing the ladder and just as he reaches the top, Punk springboards off the top rope and latches to the other side of the ladder. A slugfest ensues at the top rung of the ladder, Punk grabs the belt and slams it into Jericho's face. Using some stealthy manuevering, Punk moves into position and applies an Anaconda Vice at the top of the ladder. Jericho is tapping furiously, but it does no good. Jericho throws fists, eventually breaking the hold and sending both men to the mat.
Punk rolls back out onto the stacked ladders this time, and Jericho stuns the WWE Universe by hitting a JAW-DROPPING LIONSAULT from the top rung down to Punk, sending both men crashing through four of the eight ladders. More "Holy Shit" chants. Jericho crawls back into the ring and begins climbing again. Punk regains his senses and sets the remaining four ladders up side-by-side in the ring on either side of the main ladder. Punk jumps up on the apron and springboards to the first ladder again. As Jericho reaches the top rung again, Punk actually WALKS from the top rung of one ladder, to the next and finally meets Jericho in the center to a HUMONGOUS POP. Another slugfest breaks out atop the ladder as the crowd explodes into chants of "THIS IS AWESOME" and "PLEASE DON'T DIE". Jericho lands a nasty uppercut that sends Punk down to the mat, but he lands on his feet. Punk goes down to the bottom rung and tilts the ladder forward until gravity takes over and Jericho falls 25 FEET from the top rung through four of the eight tables. Splinters everywhere. Punk looks on, himself awestruck over what has just transpired.
Punk sets the ladder back up and begins his ascent. Exhausted, Punk wills himself up the ladder as Jericho begins to stir. Punk gets three-quarters of the way there before Jericho comes back into the ring and stuns Punk with a Springboard Codebreaker to the canvas. Jericho climbs again and reaches the top, but Punk is right there to fight him off. Jericho picks the leg and applies the Walls of Jericho atop the ladder. Punk is screaming in agony but doggedly fights out of the hold. Punk hoists Jericho onto his shoulders and hits a GTS from the top of the ladder. Jericho plummets to the canvas and the impact shakes the ladder, sending Punk teetering and dropping toward the ropes, guillotining on the top rope and crumbling to the mat as well.
His hair dyed red from the blood pouring from his face, Jericho regains consciousness and goes to set up the ladder on top of an equally bloody Punk. As Y2J sets his foot on the bottom rung, however...
IF YOU SSSSSSMMMMMMMMEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL....
The Chicago crowd comes UNGLUED as THE ROCK hits the stage in his Brahma Bull Track Suit and makes a beeline for the ring. Jericho tells the Rock to bring it on. Jericho charges and The Rock meets him with Spine on The Pine. The Rock looks to the crowd and EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM is ON THEIR FEET as The Great One throws his windbreaker to the audience executes THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MOVE IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT. The People's Elbow connects, but The Rock isn't done. Rocky drags a barely conscious Jericho to the ring apron and drapes Jericho's arm over his shoulder and ominously eyes the four tables that remain bridged between the ring apron and the barricade. More splinters go FLYING as The Rock hits THE ROCK BOTTOM through a sequence of FOUR TABLES. WOW! The Rock gets a standing ovation as he heads back toward the entrance and Jericho is MOTIONLESS.
Battered, bleeding and barely able to breathe, CM Punk uses the ropes for leverage and returns to his feet. Punk discovers that Jericho has been incapacitated, though he's not quite sure how. Punk sets up the ladder and begins his climb. Punk reaches the top rung and after what is surely to be the most exhaustive match of his entire career, unlatches the World Heavyweight Championship belt.
Winner and NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: CM PUNK
After the match, Punk sits atop the ladder, belt raised high above his head and screams "BEST IN THE WORLD" at the top of his lungs. The pyro hits and the confetti falls as the crowd roars the NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION'S name. Punk wipes the blood from his face, climbs down from the ladder, out of the ring and over to the barricade to hug his mom and his sister before walking through the crowd. Punk surfs the crowd until he reaches the entrance ramp and the Ice Cream Truck, still parked to the side. Punk climbs up on the top of the truck and raises the belt high as the pyro and confetti continue and Extreme Rules goes off the air!
No comments:
Post a Comment